The Flagshit of God-Fiction

The Mark (2012)

Directed By: James Chankin

Written By: Paul Duran, Leland Jourdan & John Patus

Produced By: James Chankin

Starring: Craig Sheffer, Eric Roberts & Gary Daniels

Rating: 0 out 5 Stars

The Testimony of Chad (Part 2 of 3: Chest-deep in the Trinity Myth)

Fuck!!!...my "Mark of the Beast" tattoo really itches…I know being a Hollywood actor is tough, but do I really HAVE to be the Devil’s man and attempt to kill Jesus Christ and cook him…"all trussed up like a pig on a spit!"…eating his flesh for sustenance.  For now, I will use my mad iMac remote skills to ensure that ALL the rich white people will be spared from the Rapture while I, with the help of my inter-racial lover, make like Robert Neville, and kill every last vampire and zombie on the Godless Earth to ensure a new chapter in unnatural, prolonged human survival.  It’s called Hell on Earth and it’s a warning to you, my unmarried Godless friends, that the Rapture is eminent, unless you leave the rich Christian white alone to interbreed a race of mayonnaise-tinted, Megalomaniacs that travel first class.

The Testimony of a non-faith-based viewer (Part 1 of 1: Activate Jammer!)

Personally, I like my God-Fiction with the best possible use of a Friends Church Multi-Purpose Room...something like the Passenger Cabin of an Airplane…so naturally, this movie has blessed me with many gifts.  At least they converted the Bathroom to the Airplane’s Cock-pit (the greatest single achievement of this film). Beyond that, I’m at a loss…Jeff Fahey’s chest-hair is this movie’s equivalent of The Ring of Power.

Long live Gary Daniels and Eric Roberts, who marginalize themselves in Society as "B- Actors" (even sometimes as twin False Prophet’s), revealing the Truth to those who look with open eyes.  The Truth that Christians, like all dogmatic groups, are kept afloat by “business men, not suicide bombers” (Subtext: business men, not Muslims).

A couple more things I learned from The Mark:

-When 10’s of thousands of people are missing, many of them are bound to be children.

-Butt sex is ok as long as it’s a Mexican (posing as a Redneck) ramming a Wannabe British Stripper (posing as a slutty Thai Stewardess) while the pair enjoys a 2-hour parachute decent to “Hell” (on Earth)

-The Mark aka Global Socialism Multi-Purpose Room Flight Simulator aka The Hand-Job Center: Home of the Dirty Foreigners aka The Long Overdo Rape of James Dobson